One Month in Heaven

On Monday, Andrew should have been one month old.  I have spent much time trying to decide how or if milestones like this should be celebrated.  If he were here with us, of course I would have dressed him up, took his picture for his album and posted it on facebook.  Without him here...well what do you do?  I wanted to do something that would include the kids and make them feel like they are still big brothers and sister.  They were all so excited to have a new baby in the house.  Of course, John and I feel a terrible loss but I also feel that loss for my children.  We all had plans and dreams for him, not just me... Oh, how I wish things were different!

Anyway, I decided that we would do a balloon release every month on his "month-a-versary."  We would all write him a message and send the balloon to Heaven.  John liked the idea.  Blake looked at me like I was crazy.  Isaak said it would never work because it would probably get popped on a star before it made it to Heaven.  Lexi was excited and Mason didn't really have an opinion.  We let ONE balloon go for his one month anniversary in Heaven.  My intentions are to let two go next month, three the next and so on.  However, living in South Dakota, I'm not sure what helium balloons will do in the bitter cold of winter so I may need to adjust my plan. 

We went to the cemetery and wrote our messages.  The kids all let the balloon go and it headed straight for the church roof.  You can imagine my relief when a gust of wind suddenly took the balloon up and lifted it out of sight.  I didn't have a back up plan if it would have popped before it was out of sight.  I used a baby blue colored balloon, which I thought was appropriate, but it is very hard to see in the pictures.

On Tuesday when I was putting Lexi to bed, I asked her if she thought AJ got our balloon.  She quickly said "no."  I thought that was odd, why would she doubt that it made it.  I asked her why she thought that and she said "AJ's too small to catch a balloon."  That never crossed my mind.  Sometimes she is just too smart!  I said that maybe someone in Heaven caught it for him and read our messages.  Then she said "Mom, do you think Jesus is tall?  I bet Jesus caught it and read it to him."  I am sure Jesus is tall enough to catch our balloon.  She is so sweet!  She cries almost every day, usually at bed time, because she misses her baby brother.   We all miss him!